


the fall

by a_little_hope (orphan_account)



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Dark Side Rey, Emperor Hux, F/M, Forced Abortion, Jedi Finn, Mentions of Stormpilot, Senator Ben Solo, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-16
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-09-22 22:29:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9628082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/a_little_hope
Summary: The Empress has landed in the clutches of the Republic, and Emperor Hux aims to get her back. There's only one problem-- she doesn't want to come back.





	1. we were fire

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hothmess](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=hothmess).



Rey vividly recalled the first moment she had met His Imperial Grace, Lord Armitage Hux. It hadn't been a pleasant moment for her--not in the slightest-- Rey had remembered being accused of stealing from the Empire. The sands of Jakku shifting to make way for Empire ships, and being arrested.  The food was drugged and Rey refused to eat. She was put in shackles, the word barbarian and scavenger thrown around at her like petty insults. After two days, she attempted her first escape, stupidly triggering the security alarm on her cell when she disengaged her shackles, using the hidden weapon that no one had bothered to check her for. _The force._ The only reason she hadn't gotten away was because of the pure number of stormtroopers.

 

The second time she had gotten somewhere.

 

Snow drifting down the outside and she nearly got to the hangar before she was stopped yet again, and nearly shot.

 

She was thrown back in her cell for days. No food or water. Nothing.

 

When her cell opened and light poured through she hissed. Expecting the one thing that awaited her.

 

_“We've been ordered to take you in front of the Emperor.”_

 

Death.

 

Stormtroopers took her to get cleaned up first, confiscated her prison costume and forced her to wear a ridiculous black dress that hugged her curves a little too well. “I thought you guys would have shot me by now,”

 

Usually when a prisoner was put in front of the Emperor himself, it was never good. But this was just ridiculous.  

 

He sat on a throne, an awful and commanding heir around him. Rey could feel it-- there was darkness in him, although she was certain this man didn't have the Force. The moment he saw her, he raised an eyebrow. “Well,” he said. “It has come to my attention that you have managed to escape our cells two times, despite looking rather insignificant.” The Emperor was glad she was still restrained. “So tell me, should I fire my prison guards or is there something you're hiding?”

 

“You should fire your prison guards,” Rey stared him down. Not breaking eye contact. “And then let me go, because I didn't steal from the Empire.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“Yeah,” she said.

 

“And can you prove that?”

 

Rey was silent.

 

“I thought so,” he said. The man was still intrigued with her.

 

“What did I steal?” She said. “Some precious cargo? As you said I am _insignificant, a nobody,_ so how could I steal something from you?”

 

This only seemed to prod him more, she stood, even though troopers tried to force her back down.

 

“You are an interesting one,”

 

“What--”

 

“You will have a hearing next week, until then, move her some place less hostile. I wish to see more of her later.”

* * *

 

She reminisced over it sometimes when she was drunk. This time it was different, drinking would be hazardous. Her hands worked precariously on a net that she had started to make a few months ago that had started to look a lot more like a blanket-- it was merely something for her to do with her hands when she got nervous. _As she was now._ There was something about telling him things that scared her, but only slightly so. This was good news.

 

He was to have an heir.

 

Her fingers worked on the intricate knots and braiding on the netting as she breathed in heavily. _It was alright to be afraid. A young girl her age having a child was allowed to be nervous._

 

Nonetheless, she felt as if she should chide herself for being afraid. After all that she'd seen--

 

“Something’s wrong,” Her husband walked through the door, and Rey jumped.

 

“What? Nothing's wrong,”

 

“You only work on that thing when you're stressed, which is rarely ever. Something is wrong.” She sighs and throws the netting to the side, letting Hux sit down on the bed next to her. _Tell him. This will be easier if you just let it spill._ She feels so tired, and he seems to get this. As if on cue, he began rubbing her shoulders. “Let me guess, you want more funding towards one of the silly orphanages you set up.”

 

“No those are fine,” Rey said with a visible hint of irritation.

 

“You want something expensive and you're trying to figure out how to ask. If you want it. You can have it.” Rey’s muscles relaxed under his massaging hands and she closed her eyes.

 

“That's not it either,”

 

“Well what is it?”

 

She sighed. Trying to find the best way to say it. “What would you do for an heir?”

 

“Mm?”

 

“Do you want a child?”

 

He paused, but then after a minute of Rey internally panicking said, “Of course,” She let out a breath of relief. “Why? Is there something you're not telling me?”

 

“No. Um… I'm… with child… is all…”

 

The massaging stopped. Rey turned back to see her husband sitting on the bed, speechless for the first time in his life. He smiled and so did she. She kissed him. “Just thought that was worth mentioning is all,”

 

* * *

 

 

The next month was filled with celebration and a general lack of violence and raids. She would smile at him and get a genuine smile in return. “You should marry me,”

He said.

 

“Maybe I should,” she would reply. “Name the time and date,”

 

“Now and now,”

* * *

 

They would exchange loving looks and he made sure that Rey was as comfortable as she could be. It was two months in when she began to have trouble. She began to show-- _and yes that was fine._ But she fainted during a military briefing and wound up in the medbay the very next day.

 

“ _Subject diagnoses, stress and malnourishment.”_

 

“Yes, I see that. But the child--”

 

“The child is fine, she will need to be confined mostly to her bed for the next few weeks.”

 

She could hear Hux’s frustration, “Can I at least see her?”

 

The medical droids let him by, and he came into her view. Her head was fuzzy do to the pain medication and her vision tunneled. She closed her eyes. “Hey,” her voice was raspy. “What happened?”

 

“Nothing for you to worry about now,” he whispered. “You'll be fine. Just rest, and when you get up you'll need to eat.”

* * *

 

 

That is when the drinking began and more catastrophe arrived. There was word that the Republic was amassing a team of Rebels to work against the Empire. While she was put away due to bed rest. Each night he came to bed with the smell of liquor on his lips and she add more knots to the netting. Her head was fuzzy from drugged food she was offered that kept her mostly refined to her bed. It didn't limit her abilities of her surroundings-- _her heart broke every time she smelled the liquor on his lips._

 

“You have to stop that-- it's _disgusting._ ”

 

“You would know disgusting, filthy Scavenger.”

 

“What is that supposed to mean?”

  
“You come from a class of scum, sometimes it's evident.”

(When the fights broke out, oh were they hell.) 

She was five months pregnant when it got worse, the Republic had ordered a raid on Star Killer base and everything had nearly blown up, Rey had come to her bed after trying to evacuate most of the children and Hux decided it was best to relieve himself with a drink-- which she wouldn't mind if there hadn't been so many of them. _It was stressful, the work of an Emperor. He's just trying to keep me safe._ She thought to herself. If only that were actually the case.

 

“Where were you when the fighting began?”

 

“Evacuating children,” she said tiredly. “I decided it might be best if I wasn't directly in front of the shooting,” her entire body ached.

 

“I needed you,”

 

“Sweet. Can I get in bed now?”

 

“You're not listening to me, you never listen.” Rey tried to get in the bed and he pushed her back, hard. “How come you never respect me?”

 

“ _What the kriffing hell are you talking about?”_

 

That earned a slap, Rey felt herself hit the ground. Her muscles and her face burning.

 

He was staring at his trembling hands in shock. Then looked to her. He might've been about to apologize-- it didn't matter. Rey's veins burned as something dark coarsed through her. The Emperor's body was thrown across the room and into a wall as she made herself stand up. “Don't touch me like that again,” she hissed. “Or I will be the one in charge of this Empire, and you'll be laying in the ground.” Rey had almost forgotten The Force. What the people of Jakku had called The Curse of the Maker. On some low connection, she always seemed to feel it. But this was strong-- _powerful even._ Everything burned as she held him there. “Do I make myself clear?”

 


	2. dismal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey was sick and tired of lying down—she wanted to walk and roam and get rid of the horrible dead weight in her stomach, but her restraints kept her bound to the bed and eternally frustrated with Hux's concern for her safety.

Rey remembered pain, it was intense and unforgiving, and it writhed all throughout her body. She screamed out in pain, clawing at her bedsheets and trying to get up. Someone was calling her name, she couldn’t exactly hear it though, the pain was too intense, spiking throughout every part of her body. “Rey, what’s wrong? Answer me.” Hux was completely sober.

“Bathroom, now--” She said. He grabbed her under the arm and got her up off the bed. “Come on Rey, I need help.”

“Why-- are-- you--- even--?”

“I’m sorry for last night,” They were in the bathroom, and she coughed, spluttered, and then lost most of her food. “I’ll call a medical droid,” The force slammed him against a wall, and she closed her eyes.

“I haven’t even forgiven you. You have no right-- to help.” She got up, the pain a little less than before. “I’ll walk to the medbay,”

“Rey, that's idiotic even for you.” She began walking, this time the pain spiked in her stomach again, just as she opened the door. Accept the pain. A voice in her mind said. It makes you stronger with the Force. She gritted her teeth and opened the door. She got halfway down the hallway when she felt it, her hand on her protruding stomach. The pain stopped spiking, and was now dull, and pulled at everything. She dropped, and everything faded away.

* * *

 The Force is dark and powerful and cruel, and it ravaged it's subjects without mercy. Rey knew this after she lost the child. She had to throw herself to something when it happened. Hux when quiet. Neither of them talked to each other. He refused buying a tutor to help her with the Force, yet allowed her access to the Imperial records to learn herself. Books and scrolls and journals were in the deepest parts of the library, studying what she could. 

Part of her wanted to die. The Force would be a good way to use her body and turn her inside it out-- dramatic and sinful. It seemed like a good way to go. 

She felt anger burning in her every time she saw Hux. Every time she thought about it. Rey only went in public, when she absolutely had to. "I need you," He would say. 

"No you don't," she would reply. Although she would almost always come with him. Part of her still wanted to love him but she wasn't quite sure if she was ready for that yet. Most of her feelings were mostly those of anger and loss and anguish and the other times she felt nothing. Nothing was such a cruel thing to feel when you were so used to emotions, sometimes she wondered if this is how the Emperor felt on a daily basis, it was monstrous. Part of her thought that this was for the best. 

Monstrosity helped get rid of pain. 

It helped. 

The Force was a monstrosity. 

The monstrosity helped as she learned its ins and outs. 

Still she as not satisfied. 

* * *

 

 

 _'The once luminous Empress has disappeared from the side of the Emperor,'_ Rey laughed and turned off the gossip article that Hux had passive-aggresively turned on in front of her. "You shouldn't be laughing, this will make me look bad." Rey raised an eyebrow. "Speak when you are spoken to, girl." She still did not speak, getting up and slipping into her boots. "Where are you going?" 

"To the archives, my dear husband." He straightened up, staring into her eyes. Gold more than brown now. 

"You've changed." 

"I'm not the weak little girl I once was," The Emperor sighed, taking a sip of scotch that he'd been so fond of. It seemed more watered down than usual. 

"Rey-"

"What?"

"You were never weak, if you were weak I would've never fallen in love with you in the first place." 

"News to my ears," 

"What that I said you aren't weak?" 

"No that you love me," 

* * *

 

The Republic was not a perfect government, there were ins and outs and ups and downs but it worked, democracy worked. That's what Ben knew and one of the only things he had known for the longest time. He was one of the youngest of the Senate, but he comandeered the place with respect. The Senator did not appreciate politics but it was easy. 

It came easy to him. 

Except on orders of the Empire. 

The Empire, the only thing that dictated them was violence and cruelty, something he tried to not be especially well versed in. 

* * *

 

 "I have always loved you," Hux had said. "No matter what, you are one of the only people that I have cherished and will continue to cherish." There was a pause before Hux said, "Don't go on the battlefield tomorrow, stay here with me."

"I already packed up. You know we need this. The Republic has gone too long without knowing what happens when they defy the Order," She was talking like him now. Her gold eyes flickered as she looked from him to her things. "Plus, you haven't seen what I can do yet," She whispered into his ear, kissing his neck. 

"Tomorrow will be an eventful occasion," Rey assured him. "The Republic will remember what it is like to be under the rule of the Empire," the assertive tone in her voice sent chills through his spine. 

He had changed her for the worse.

* * *

 Rey had been waiting for this day to come, the day when she could prove to everyone that she was more than the girl that had been kidnapped and forced to be the wife of the Emperor, the girl who's child had been tragically taken from unseen health circumstances.

She was more than that. And now she stood outside of a landing ship with Phasma next to her. "You know the goal, Miss." Phasma said, "We secure the correct weapon supply units, take them and get out of here." This was Phasma's plan, yes, but Rey knew that things did not always go this easily when it came to the Republic.

"Keep on high alert," The only way to get to the weapon supply that had been hidden on a planet named Kashyyk was through a valley, something where they could be easily ambushed. 

Rey stared up at the bright greens around her, hating the bright light that trickled down through the leaves. 

She could hear everything. The chirping of various non-threat creatures. The crunching of leaves under the feet of stormtrooper boots.  _And something else._ The fast thrumming beat of nervous hearts. 

The click of a blaster being taken off it's safety. The force was practically bursting through the air. The Republic was already here. 

She saw a man behind a tree, aiming the gun at her head from a distance.  "Everyone get down," Rey roared. 

Chaos erupted as more Republic soldiers began to pour in, the storm troopers had their guns aimed at the soldiers, who were all aiming at Rey. There was a split second of silence and Rey smiled, thinking of how easy it would be to break all their necks right then and there. 

 _No. She needed to make a statement._ The Empress flung her hands up as the blaster bolts began to fly. Horror struck the rebellion as they watched their weapons freeze in mid-air. The stormtroopers struck down three men as others started to jump from the tops of the rocks and into the alley. 

Rey couldn't help but laugh. Power ran through her veins as a taller man tried to deliver a harsh blow, only to have his neck broken in an extremely odd angle and his corpse effortlessly flung at friends that were scaling the mountainside. 

The fight had begun. 

 


	3. blood of the rebels

The first wave of Rebels were dead in seconds and nobody had taken the time or care to alert Ben Organa of the plan to make an attack on the Empress, now he watched behind a screen as the girl he had once pitied for her great losses and tragedies tore through men like they were made of paper.

 

She seemed happy to do it too, and political leaders and military generals alike had gathered up to watch, somewhat in horror.

 

Blood stained the soil red, and then the camera cut out. Ben stood there in shock, remembering the way she skinned Rebel soldiers right in front of her. He felt sick, but managed to keep his stone cold demeanor.

 

“This is what happens when we walk into an ambush without full approval of the council, this is what happens _when we don’t take the time to learn all the details of our opponents.”_ He roared. The Council was silent. Ben composed himself again.

* * *

 

 

She could feel power bubbling at her fingertips and she wanted more, no more moderation. She could feel the lives of men and women lives thrumming at her fingertips. Something in her had broken, morality be damned. “I want them all dead!” She screamed. The Stormtroopers started to fight back with a capability they hadn’t known that they had. Rey raised her hand, flinging a group of Rebel soldiers into the nearest tree.

 

 _They are watching you, Rey._ That was not her voice. _Make your choice, just know you can turn back from this, no matter what._ Someone was in her head.

 _Get out of my head._ The voice went quiet.

 

She turned, nearing the compound. The sounds of blasters firing filled her blood with excitement, they knew they were losing. There was nothing they could do about it. People were waiting in front of the weapons compound, some of them kids, others still looking too young to lift a weapon properly. “Really?” She muttered to herself as she watched them pull more blasters on her.

  
“Kids. I didn’t think the Rebellion would go this low,” 

She was on the outskirts of the clearing where the entrance to the compound could only be seen if she brushed some of the tree branches back. She contemplated going back. They were kids after all, but the idea cemented in her mind when a flash bomb was thrown into the air, coming her way.

 

The Force caught the bomb in mid air, then Rey spent it spiralling back down towards the kids that had attacked her. She flung herself from the spot where she’d been hiding, the anger that she had briefly managed to quell was no longer contained. 

The smell of blood soon filled the air as stormtroopers filed in after her. Rey hadn’t laid a hand on any of the children herself, but she also didn’t seem to care if they were hurt. Some of them ran back into the weapons compound, clearly trying to protect it from Rey and her small army, but they were flung out of the way like rag dolls. _You can stop this._ It was that voice again. _Please, stop this._ The voice pleaded with her.

 

Rey felt anger in her heart as the voice in her head continued to beg with her, telling her that the dark side was not the right path to go on, and that she would regret it later in life. “Maybe I don’t want to live long enough to see later in life,” She hissed. The voice shut up again as Rey remembered all the unfortunate events in her life.

 

Being captured by the Empire, stripped of her origins, expected to marry a man she knew nothing about. Forcing herself to love a man she knew she should not. Eventually falling in love. It seemed like at every point in her life, Hux had been her ruination, this was the first choice she was given that was her own, not his. _I want to ruin myself,_ she thought, _I am the only one who can control the fate that befalls me._ The compounds metal doors opened with a satisfying crunch, and Phasma, Rey and a group of Stormtroopers walked through the door seconds later.

 

It seemed that the Republic’s plan on playing on Rey’s humanity would not work. Even when she stared into the face of a kid who could’ve been no older than eleven. His big brown eyes and chubby cheeks told her that he was nowhere near puberty yet, still he held a training saber in his hands, “Hold your fire,” Rey said. She had seen the boy before, in her reports. “Go find the things that the Emperor wants, report back to the ship, I’ll be back.” They all left her side. All except Phasma. “Go attend to your forces, Captain.”

 

“Miss-”

 

“ _Go attend to your forces,”_ The kid was practically shaking in his boots as she left Rey’s side. That’s when Rey unclipped her lightsaber. “What’s your name, child?”

 

“ _I-_ ”

 

“ZA-8675,” _That’s where._ She freed him from the Stormtrooper academy due to pre-existing health conditions. How unafraid he had been of her then. How different times were. “Please don’t kill me ma’am.” He did not cry. “I’d like to live,”

 

“ZA-8675…” Rey said… “I would love to let you live,” She said, clicking her tongue on the roof of her mouth, “but… all Rebels must die,” She said.

 

* * *

 

 

Screams could be heard throughout the planet, the screams of men, children, and women alike. That day the Empire won more than they should have that day, a whole planet put under their subservience instead of a weapons compound. All the same, Rey felt the feelings of guilt and remorse that usually came after a ruthless battle. She was soaked in blood from head to toe, and she wondered if she would ever be able to watch the blood from her hands.

The hallways to her bedroom were quiet, as if people could sense the fact that she wanted to be left alone. Well, all of the people except for her ever incessantly nagging husband. Rey stopped stone cold in the middle of the hallway, and when she saw his face she was outraged. He had the  _audacity to smile._

Rey felt her blood boil. 

Her ruination. 

Her enabler. "I'm proud of you," was all he said. Rey was seeing red.  _Proud. Proud of the monster she was. She would show him exactly how much of a monster she was._ "We have a lot of things to discuss... We should celebrate this." He put his hand on her shoulder and Rey lost it, snapping her head to the side and sending her hands jetting out before she even thought about was she was doing. 

To her horror he was sent back into the nearest wall, a sickening crack bringing her to her senses. "Hux!" It seemed she'd somewhat sobered up, but she wished she hadn't. Her husband was unresponsive but he still breathed. "I can't lose you too you little shit."


	4. breathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Every thing is destroyed by darkness."

_Everything will be destroyed by the true form of the force. The dark side._

* * *

 

Rey supposed she shouldn't have felt guilty for nearly killing her husband, nevertheless she couldn't look at him as he was being examined by nurses. She bit her lip as she listened to them prescribe three different types of painkillers and a week of bed rest. Once the nurses left they were plagued with silence. Rey sniffed, trying to find something to fixate on. It seemed this was the first time she and her husband had been in the same room alone since their child died. At least the first time they both seemed emotionally aware of each other.

What was there to say? 

Rey couldn't help it.

She began to cry. 

Again.

Crying was a weakness, and yet she couldn't stop. "What are you doing?" The Emperor muttered from his bed. "Why are you crying?"

"I didn't mean to hurt you," 

"We all don't mean to hurt people, Rey. It happens anyway. Now come here. Yes." She walked over to the bed cautiously, sitting at his side, he took her hand, smoothing it out in the fashion she did to calm him down. "I have been nothing but horrible to you lately, I know that... And some thing about my actions was going to happen sooner or later. I just ask that you forgive me." Rey was silent, thinking of the pain and corruption she'd endured in the past few years. She wanted so much to go back to merely being his wife, the taint of the Force scared her. She wasn't sure she could keep it up like this much longer for her. "Please forgive me,"

"I forgive you," she wasn't entirely sure that she meant it or if she was just trying to comfort him. "I do," Hux smiled, brushing tears away from her cheeks. 

"My beautiful wife..."

"I'll clean myself up," she said, breaking away from him. "We could both use some rest." He was almost too nice. Maybe it was paranoia left over from the battle, Rey wasn't sure, but precident had been set. 

She wouldn't trust him. Not this fast. 

* * *

 

There is so much death, so much anguish that comes with this life, Ben thinks. He got away from the Jedi, he wanted to become this. A senator that was reveered by his people. But he had not anticipated the rebirth of the Empire, the rebirth of the dark side in the Empress, the murder of children or the voices.

The voices used to be relentless. Taking the form of his Tooka doll and then later the ghost of  Anakin Skywalker. They disappeared after he repressed the use of the force and rejected it. 

Now they were back. 

_You thought this could be avoided, Solo? Or should I call you Organa? The dark side has claimed another because of your selfish rejection._

What?

_The girl._

No. 

_Did you think she did this of her free will? No. Corrupted by the Empire. Corrupted by the Force. Corrupted by me._

Ben buried his face in a pillow and screamed, to which his bodyguard responded to by immediately running into the room. "Senator? Are you okay?"

Ben turned away from his pillow and looked to the Jedi near his bedside. "Yes, Finn. Go away." The bodyguard rolled his eyes and muttered something about moody royalty before shutting the door behind him. 

_She is coming._

_The corrupted._

_Your ruination._

* * *

 

Rey had laid awake long after Hux had gone to sleep, thinking about the Force and its ebb and flow in the universe. She felt every tremor, every hum, every light in the world. The light she had shied so far away from. 

Maybe... 

She felt her mind reach out of it's own free will to hear the same voice she had before. 

_Rey._

_Who are you?_

_Obi Wan Kenobi._ He answered willingly this time. Good. 

 _Help me. I want to be free of this pain._ There was a silence and she felt a calming sensation in her heart, as if someone was trying to comfort her.  _I'm sorry._ Rey thought, maybe she could escape Hux, and get the death she so fully deserved through the Jedi. 

She was prepared.  _Breathe._ She followed his instruction.  _Close your eyes. Let me introduce you to your salvation._

 The scene changed, and all of the sudden Rey was in the middle of a gala, she was wearing some ridiculous costume or disguise. A mask to conceal her identity. 

She paraded around with him, not one sadistic intention in her mind. 

Ben Organa. 

The one senator that could not be bribed and bought by the Republic. 

* * *

_Peace is a lie. Peace is a lie. Peace is a lie._

* * *

"My salvation," she saw the eyes of a Senator. The only thing she wanted to do was kill him.  _Rey, calm down._ "If he's my salvation I'm doomed," she got up, getting out of the bedroom.  _Calm down. You're acting irrational._

_He looks nothing like the person I need._

  _Open your eyes. You want to escape this hell, you escape it through the senator._ "Rey,"

Rey turned around to see Phasma out of armour walking around the hallways. "Hey," she smiled as the two began walking side by side. "Are you okay?"

 

“I'm fine,”

 

“That's the most bullshit thing I've ever heard. What's up?”

 

“The Force… it… it's causing complications.”

  
“Like what?”

 

“Aggression, over exertion, other things I knew were coming but I was sure I could control it.” She said. “I was so sure.” Phasma nodded understandingly as they walked aimlessly down the hallways. Or so it seemed. “I just… I don't know what to think of anything anymore. Of here of any place.” They walked past the prison cells and reprogramming rooms for the Jedi. “You won't tell Hux?”

 

“Of course,” The two of them stopped in the middle of the hallway. Rey hadn't noticed the encroaching stormtroopers and her husband who was supposed to be in bed until it was too late. Phasma neared Rey enough to stick two sedatives in her neck without Rey being able to react. “What?” She grabbed Phasma by the neck, but her grip slackened and she wasn't able to leave a lasting mark on her. The last thing she saw as Hux’s face.

  
“Goodnight, darling. When you wake up again, you won't remember a thing..” 

* * *

 

_ The room was dark and Ben couldn't recognize a thing into an all too familiar girl was thrown inside of it. She was limp, paralyzed perhaps, as she was being lifted into a chair, restraints where clapped over her hands, feet and neck. Ben moved to see the eyes of the woman that was put in the restraints. _

 

_ Rey. _

 

_ The Empress.  _

 

_ That didn't make sense. He watched as the Emperor came in, inserting various needles into her skin, injecting her full of drugs before sticking electrodes to her face.  _

 

_ She was still asleep as he did this. He looked to a stormtrooper waiting to be told when to turn the electrodes on.  _

 

_ When he did, Rey screamed something that was almost inhuman. “You worship the Empire and your cause?” _

 

_ Rey didn't respond.  _

 

_ “Higher,” _

 

_ Another electric blast.  _

 

_ “Do you worship the Empire and your cause?” _

 

_ “Why am I here?” _

 

_ “Higher.” _

 

_ She was only able to take one more blast before crying yes. The Emperor grinned, walking towards her. “Good. My love. Now… you must not remember this for your own safety. You understand?” _

_ She nods before crying again. “Good. I will wake you from your sleep.” He inserts another needle into her skin. Sweat beaded down her brow and she was limp, and helpless. Ben couldn't do a thing. “If you survive the night, if you don't, you'll die like the monster you are.”  _

* * *

 

He poisoned her. 

Something was in her veins that twisted her surroundings. Her lungs constructed as black began to tunnel around her. 

He poisoned her. 

She could feel her muscles twitching. 

_Breathe._

Obi Wan Kenobi... 

_Help me..._

_I can only do so much. Breathe._

She did as she said. Then felt the presence of two other force signatures in the room, they corroded her restraints and she fell to the floor. 

_These are your first steps, Rey. You must survive._

She managed to reach her hand, crushing the door. Rey hadn't regained feeling of her legs, and everything was cloudy, she began to forget exactly who the voice was that was talking to her.

She clawed at the floor, moving herself along the floor as fast as possible. 

The poison was slow. 

Clouding her vision. Making her mouth foam. 

She kept crawling. Pain radiating through her body as she began to forget her power. As she began to forget exactly why she and her husband had been in such a quarrel. As she began to forget exactly how strong she was.

* * *

_"Kriffing hell," He wasn't out of this twisted dream yet. She crawled. Called for help._

_No one would help her. Ben kept hoping she'd keep moving. Wishing he could push her along when he thought of an idea. He walked ahead to one of the nearest rooms where a medical droid was cleaning up._

_"You will give the Empress an antidote to whatever poison she was given." The first time the command wasn't heard. The Senator was surprised after he put his hand through the machine and shouted the command again. Ben was surprised the command was heard and the medical droid flew to her, administering the antidote._

Ben woke up with a start, just now understanding how inhumane the Emperor was. Finn was sitting at his bedside. "What did you find out?" He'd sensed his body landing in a different place. "I don't know..." Ben said. But then Ben recanted the statement... He knew one thing for sure.

 "I only know one truth....  _The Empire must end."_

 


	5. what do you see?

Rey woke up with a start, her memory foggy and stormtroopers running her way. There was one thing she did remember, and that was being threatened by her husband. She picked her feet up and began walking despite the haze in her head.  _Breathe._ This time she listened to the voice.  _Right, left, straight left._

Rey ran, doing as the voice told her to. She was lead to the main hangar. Her ship. Yes. Her ship. Without really thinking, the Empress made her way towards the ship, avoiding the stormtroopers, and most of all, Phasma. 

Boarding the ship unnoticed was easy. Flying while recovering from poison would be another thing entirely. 

The take off was easy, and Rey was able to get pretty far before something stopped her. 

A blaster beam struck the flank of her ship. 

Everything was on fire. "Well shit," Rey hissed. "This is gonna be fun,"

* * *

 

Rey wasn’t sure exactly how many curse words she had uttered in the last but ten minutes, but after she was shot out of the sky and forced to crash on Naboo, she was sure that the filth that came out of her mouth was near irredeemable.

 

The wreckage of her ship made her feel a tad bit disappointed. _Rey could’ve died._ She wanted to die.

 

Somehow, she’d managed to hold on to her lightsaber despite not knowing how she’d found it in the first place. Flames exploded from the wreckage of her ship, and Rey wondered how long it would take someone from either side to come and kill her.

 

She saw a blue light from just above a hilltop.

 

**_Not very long, apparently._ **

 

That wasn’t the only light she could see coming her way. Phasma was coming to make sure she was dead. Rage filled Rey’s stomach as instinct began to take place. _Breathe, Rey, breathe._  Said the voice that had guided her. “Yes,” The voice had gotten her this far, and she worked through the rage, standing her ground despite her injuries. _Help is on the way, accept it._

Two lights, one green and one blue.

The Jedi.

Four lights, all red.

The Empire.

_  
Stormtrooper dropships._

Hux betrayed her, Phasma betrayed her, both of them would die. _Revenge is not the answer Rey._  She could see the two Jedi running towards her as Phasma’s ship landed. She would die now. “It’s the human thing to do,”

“It is not the right thing,”

“The right thing to do doesn’t exist, it never has.”

_Run._

She remained steadfast as she turned her back to the Jedi and saw Phasma and her stormtroopers approaching from the flames. Phasma held cuffs in her hands, ones that would wrap around her neck and bind her hands together as well. “Rey, you are have been ordered by your husband to come back to the base,”

“FUCK YOU, YOU BANTHA PIECE OF- !”

“Okay, I understand you're angry for me drugging you but that was a bit uncalled for.” 

Rey laughed a little bit, her delirium making her sense of humour a bit warped, she grabbed her lightsaber and Phasma tilted her head to the side. That chrome plated mask only made it harder for Rey to focus. “You don't have to do this, Rey.”

 

“You didn't have to drug me.”

 

The Jedi had arrived. She could hear the mental channels the two men were talking on.

 _It seems she tried to escape._ One man said.

 

 _Do we help her or subdue them all?_ The younger man said. The stormtroopers seemed to be standing still, confused as to what was happening as well. “Walk away, boys.” Phasma said. “This is classified Empire business,”

 

“That doesn’t mean anything to us,” Said the younger. Rey turned to catch a glimpse of him. The boy had dark brown eyes, and he looked to almost as young as Rey was herself, but his eyes still had youth in them. She looked to her left side and saw Luke Skywalker. Something told her that these men were not the same as the way that Hux had portrayed them when Rey had still believed all the lies he spoonfed her. Rey lit her lightsaber.

 

“I’m not going back to him.” She said calmly.

 

“It is not your choice,” Rey could feel herself weakening.

 

_Breathe, Rey. These are your first steps. Do not be seduced by the dark side._

 

“Umm… Luke…”

 

“Be quiet, Finn.” He hissed. “This can be resolved by a conversation.”

“We’ve done enough conversing, she has disobeyed the Empire, become too hard to control in the eyes of the Emperor. We were supposed to subdue her and bring her back to his side, and that’s what we’re going to do. If we have to do this the hard way, we can do it the hard way.” Rey calmed herself.   _No corruption. Close your eyes, feel the force._ “Fire!” The force meant them in waves, Rey had never felt such power, and not just from her.

 

Luke Skywalker and the younger Jedi had powerful force signatures, they had been in sync, their hands jutting out and creating a wall, the blaster bolts hit a stop, trying to get to their destination. Rey was relentless, _Breathe, what do you see?_

 

Phasma began walking towards Rey calmly, cuffs in hand, the stormtroopers were focused on the other two Jedi and Rey found that she didn’t care much about what happened to them, she just wanted Phasma dead. _The Jedi do not kill unarmed people._

 

_I am no Jedi, and she is not unarmed._

 

“I don’t really want to kill you Phasma, after all you’re just doing your job.”

 

“I don’t want to hurt you either, Rey. But I am doing my job,”

 

“Yes, and of course your job is the thing that will get you slaughtered in the end. Isn’t it?”

 

“Depends on how you think this fight is going to end,”

 

“Since I’m a nice bitch, I’ll let you pick your terms.”

 

“No force, you can use your lightsaber but the force is prohibited.” Rey twirled her lightsaber, her pupils dilating. “If I get you in the cuffs you have to come in,” Without a verbal agreement, Rey swung her lightsaber, bringing it down in a vicious arc that Phasma managed to avoid. She side stepped and swung the cuffs. The metal alloy it was made out of it Rey in the side hard, probably a lot harder than it was meant to because Phasma was the one throwing it.

 

The end didn’t attach to her, and Rey sighed in relief as she tried to hit Phasma again. For the bulky armour she was wearing, she was awfully quick on her feet. Phasma rammed her shoulder into Rey’s side and Rey lost grip of her lightsaber. It went skittering on the ground and Phasma took her advantage to plant a right hook on Rey.

  
_Breathe, think, what do you see?_

 

_ I see a weakness.  _

Phasma tackled Rey to the ground, opening the cuffs, but Rey was fast, kicking Phasma’s tailbone and causing her to lurch forward, Rey pushed the woman off her and the two of them scrabbled on the ground for control for a moment, Rey broke free of Phasma’s hold once more. Reaching for her lightsaber, it flew to her hand, but Phasma pulled out her blaster rifle. “Drop it, Rey.” 

“Bite me,” Rey swung it upwards from the ground just as Phasma shot. Blinding pain shot throughout Rey’s body, but when she looked up to see if Phasma was still moving, she was gone. “Shit.” Being shot at close range was never fun, but this was worse. Being attacked by Phasma was always worse than being attacked by a regular stormtrooper or even Rey herself. “Shit,” Rey managed to get herself up, not able to see through the flames that had spread from the wreckage of her ship to most of the other life forms around her. 

She limped, the wound in her side just making it harder to breathe, harder to not use the dark side of the force. If she gave up, she could just die. She wanted to give up, but something made her keep walking to the place where the two Jedi had been. She saw the younger, and he seemed concerned for her, watching her clutch her side. She lifted her saber, focusing, pointing it in his direction. “I’m not going to fight you,” The boy said. “You’re not well,” 

“I wasn’t asking you to fight me, I was giving you a reason to end me.” Was all she said before she fell to the ground and passed out. 

 

* * *

 

Rey woke up in a hospital room,  _well, sort of._ More like a prison room. 

 

Nicer than the Empire had to provide, Rey had to admit, but all the same she could not help but feel angry for the fact that she was still alive. "I wouldn't move if I were you," Said a deep male voice. "You were hit by a  Sonn-Blas F-11D blaster rifle at close range, it took four hours for your surgery and an additional three weeks in a bacta tank before we knew for sure that you would survive." 

"Where am I?" She rasped. 

"You're in the arms of the Republic," The voice said. "My name is Senator Organa, and the only reason I'm not meeting with you face to face is because I thought you should get acquainted with your surroundings before you were fully interrogated." 

"Senators don't interrogate people," Rey said. "And I would've rather us meet face to face," 

"Security risks, with your people wanting to wipe out the Republic and all." Rey rolled her eyes, sitting up and taking the IV out of her arm. The pain wasn't the worst that she'd ever experienced, and she got up. Looking around the room. 

There were no bed sheets. The cover she had was made of a paper like substance that merely felt like cloth, there were no medicine bottles. Just a morphine drip that Rey knew wouldn't give her enough of what she needed to kill herself. 

"I hope you enjoy your stay here for the next few days, Miss Hu-" 

"Don't call me that," Rey said. 

"Oh?" 

"Just Rey," 

"Well I hope you enjoy your stay here. Get ready. In an hour I will meet with you." 


	6. depraved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Violence, Desperation, Depravity..." 
> 
> Rey wants to die.
> 
> The Senator has other ideas.

It takes Rey a little to remember where she was, but when her vision came into focus and she saw Senator Organa sitting on the other side of her prison cell, she laughed. He was taller than she thought he would be, even sitting down. He looked a little too fit to be a Senator of the Republic in her opinion. In fact, if he had the force, he would’ve been more fit to be a Jedi or Sith. Instead he sat here, trying to be convincing in his concern. “You’ve been out for a while,” He said. “I’ve been informed that you’re severely malnourished.”

    “Oh really? I guess it’ll be easier to kill me then, huh?” The bright lights in her prison cell almost burned her eyes with their intensity.

    The Senator was silent. It was clear that she had already managed to make him uncomfortable. “Actually, I’ve managed to sway the other members of the Senate to hold off on the death penalty for now-”

    “ _What?_ ”

    “Was that disappointment?” He cocked his head to the side in confusion. Perhaps he didn’t quite understand what suicidal tendencies were. The Senator seemed to brush it off, “because you’d be a useful source of information,” Rey rolled her eyes. She knew that she should be afraid, cowering even, but something about this man was pissing her off.

Maybe it was his lack of cruelty? She had expected it from the likes of the Republic, she even invited it. Hux had told her how they hated people with any different political views, or anyone associated with the people who shared those views, and most of all, the discrimination against people who had the force. _She wanted that. It would mean an easier death._ “And of course, information on why you landed here in the first place.”

    

* * *

 

    “That is not how you interrogate someone,” the Empress snorted. Ben studied her up and down, it was clear that she was putting on some false exterior to get herself killed, in result that only made him more insistent on not killing her. “You’re supposed to intimidate me, jackass. Torture me.”

    “Who said this was interrogation?” Now she was confused, her breathing getting heavier as he started to get more irritated. “I never said I was interrogating you, interrogation is bullshit.” He said. “Do you know how many times I’ve had faulty information come out of an interrogation, and then I ended up having my people and the people of the Resistance, die at your hand.”

    “Another reason to kill me-”

    “-So I don’t do interrogation any more. I’ve found different methods of gathering information that seem to be more beneficial.”

    “You’re the literal definition of a liberal prat,” She spat. He could see her start to get more nervous by the minute, she kept looking down at the floor and trying to get up from the seat that she was chained down to. “You think that death and pain is avoidable, well not only are you more of an idiot than he told me you were,  but you’re also delusional.”

    Delusional. Huh.

    “He?”

    Silence.

    “Are you referring to the Emperor? Empress,”

    “Don’t call me that.”

“Oh? Marital troubles?” More silence. Her muscles tensed, but she looked up from the floor, and straight into his eyes. Ben watched as electricity crackled around her arms as the chair broke into smoldering pieces around her. She surged forward until she was centimeters away from the glass.

“I will kill you,”

“Touched a nerve?”

“You’re an insignificant little ant that knows nothing about what he’s talking about. And if you did, you would know that I deserve to die. He made me a monster like him, monsters deserve to  die.” Ben raised an eyebrow. He had in fact struck a nerve, that only begged the question, why did she land here?

“Rey,” He said quietly. “Can I call you Rey?” She stopped, biting back tears as she moved away from the glass, controlling her breathing more.

“Sure,”

“Will you tell me what happened to you? At least what brought you here?” Silence, she paced around her cell, her eyes closed and her feet padding against the white tiled floors.

“I was shot out of the sky,” She said. “I would think that one of your Jedi slaves would’ve told you that.”

“They did,” He said, “And they aren’t slaves.”

“Yes they are,”

Ben ignored her to the best of his ability. “I wanted to hear it from you. It’s best to hear what happened from the person who experienced it first hand? Wouldn’t you agree?” The woman looked back at him. She looked so young, treated cruelly, with a thin frame from years of abuse and self neglect, however her eyes were so old and tired looking.

“Yes,” Rey whispered. He almost couldn’t hear her. She took a breath and looked back at him, trying to decipher some puzzle she must’ve seen before her. Ben shared the same feeling, trying to find out why she was putting on this rapidly deteriorating tough exterior. “Okay... uh… I guess I’ll tell you a little bit. I have nothing better to do after all,”

* * *

 

She was wasting time. Wasting time until they got her to an area where she could use something to end it all. This would just be another pastime until then. “It was my husband who shot down my plane, because I did something that I wasn’t supposed to.”

“What did you do?” The senator leaned forward in his seat, it seemed that she had grabbed his attention.

“I hurt him, nearly killed him on accident.” She paused, trying to quell a bout of anxiety that was starting to swell up in her chest. “And I didn’t mean it. I was just so tired of everything I did. I couldn’t take it. I just… I couldn’t take it anymore, and all that anger, it just came out.”

“So he shot you out of the sky and you almost died?”

“He also tried to poison me,” She said. “I managed to escape,” Rey started pacing again, wringing both her hands as she tried to calm herself down, to remind herself that she’d find way to give herself a reprieve. That she would find a way to get herself out of this. “He made me lose everything, I probably deserved it too. I was never meant to be anything good, never meant to be a mother, never meant to be a person.”

“Calm down,”

“I was inconsequential, born on Jakku, a primitive.”

    “Rey, calm down.” There was a pulsating pain in her temple, and it only seemed to get worse the more she paced around. She was too focused in her anxious state to realize there was electricity culminating around her, crackling and making the lights begin to flicker in her cell and outside as well. The glass began to crack as she paced. She would’ve noticed the body guards starting to run into protect the senator, and the prison guard rushing into her room to sedate her again.

    “Just a waste of oxygen around the Finalizer, never meant to be worth anything, just cursed… with the force.”

    “CALM DOWN!” The Senator’s voice scared her, and there was a loud crack, and glass shattered around her. She felt a needle sink into her neck and she let it happen, let her body go limp for another time.

* * *

 

Ben spent the next three hours being scolded by everyone. Political advisors, his mother, his uncle. Everyone seemed to have their own opinion after they heard the reason why the Senator had been rushed to a medbay -despite being completely healthy - and wanted to comment on how stupid it was to go talk to one of the most powerful human beings in the galaxy like that and get her worked up. 

To consider changing his mind on abstaining the death penalty. He felt extremely insulted when his mother said, "Everyone in the Empire lacks any sense of morality at all, son. And I found this an extreme judgement in error when you took  _her in._ She's too dangerous to be kept alive and should be executed."

 

Luke was the one to ask, "Did you find anything out from her at all?" 

That's when Ben finally spoke. "Yes. I did."

"And?" Leia was expecting. 

"And, I still think we should keep her alive. The girl was clearly abused. Picked up by the Empire as a political stunt to gain more approval and brainwashed. She blames herself for everything. She practically begged me to kill her." Everyone was silent, especially Finn, who was always vocal in these types of situations.

"Why didn't you give her her wish?" Leia asked. 

"Because," Ben retorted, "you of all people have told me many times you never give the enemy what they want. Or are you going back on your own word, mother?" 

More silence. 

Leia stormed out of the room, and Luke quickly followed, but Finn stayed there, observing Ben silently. 

"What do you want?"

Finn raised an eyebrow, "Who me? Nothing dude, I was just waiting to see if you needed anything."

"I don't."

"Okay. That's cool. I just wanted to let you know, I agree with you."

"What?"

"I agree with you," he said, "I saw her when she landed. I think you made the right choice, and if you'd let me, I'd like to try and talk to her later." Ben nodded. Maybe she'd respond better to a different face. "Thanks man," He started walking to the door. "And good luck at the next senate meeting. I know you're gonna need it."


End file.
